GUY SUES DATE FOR TEXTING DURING "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY"
He wants his 17 bucks back.
MAN, MOTHER, PORKCHOP: TAKE TWO
The lure of pork.
DRUNK MAN PEES IN NEIGHBOR'S MAILBOX
The mail must go through…a drying-out process.
MUSEUM VENDING MACHINE SELLS SNACKS MADE FROM INSECTS
Mmmm… ground cricket chips.
NEW POP-TARTS FLAVORS: JOLLY RANCHER CANDY
Watermelon Pop-Tarts.
MAN IN PAJAMAS ROBS CONVENIENCE STORE
No one takes pride in their work any more.
TACO BELL BRIBE DOESN'T WORK ON COP
Please ignore the cocaine, officer.
MAN HIRED PROSTITUTES TO STRIP AT THE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET
75 times over four years!
MAN CALLS 911 ASKING TO BE DEPORTED
And in America, your dreams come true.