BRISKET SMOKER STOLEN
From parking lot.
QUESTS FOR BIGGER BUTT, BIGGER PENIS LEAD TO DEATHS
Tragedies down south.
12 INMATES ESCAPE USING PEANUT BUTTER
They were recaptured in a Jif.
FLORIDA COUPLE FINDS SLEEPING BEAR ON THEIR FRONT PORCH
Bizzaro Goldilocks.
THIS YEAR'S TEXAS STATE FAIR FOOD
Deep Fried Chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick
ARMORED TRUCK GUARD STEALS $100,000 FIRST DAY ON THE JOB
Talk about unclear on the concept.
WOMAN HAD SNAKE STUCK ON HER FACE
Five foot boa constrictor.
FLORIDA SUPERINTENDENT ELIMINATES ELEMENTARY SCHOOL HOMEWORK
Instead, 20 minutes of reading.
BANK ROBBER WAS "STARTING CAREER AS COMEDIAN"
Ran away stripping off clothes and tossing money.