4TH GRADERS ASKED TO SOLVE MURDER OF ELF
Who offed the elf?
AUDIO: ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS: I QUIT
Teen quits over p.a. system.
DRUNK DRIVER HANDS OVER HAMBURGER INSTEAD OF LICENSE
Cops were grilling him.
MAN LEARNS HIS TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER IS 4,000-YEAR OLD-POTTERY
Bought for 5 bucks at a flea market.
MAN HAS VIBRATING BLUETOOTH COMPASS EMBEDDED IN HIS CHEST
Captain Direction!
HOSPITAL INUNDATED WITH STOOL SAMPLES
They’re tired of your $#!%
DUTCH MAN CAN’T LEGALLY LOWER HIS AGE
Guilty of being 69 years old.
PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA DENIES BEING AN IMPOSTER
Which is what he was programmed to say.