WOMAN DIES AFTER FIVE HOURS OF DRUG-FUELED SEX

A woman died in the city of Cali, Colombia, after having drug-fueled sex for 5 hours. According to her 32-year-old partner, the woman – known as “La Fiera” or “The Beast” – lost consciousness and begun “convulsing”. The unusual nickname was said to have referred to her “very strong ‘character'” (* I’ve never heard it referred to as a ‘character’ before.)— her birth name remains unknown. Her male partner called 911 but emergency services were taking too long to arrive. He decided to wrap her in a sheet and rush her to the hospital in a taxi, but medics could not save her and she died shortly after arrival. The victim’s partner told detectives they had been having sex for five hours consecutively, and had consumed drugs to prolong the session. An investigation is underway to see if the woman died of excessive drug use.
* No, I’m pretty sure it was the sex. And don’t ask me how I know that.
* Pfffff… amateurs.
* Never take sex lessons from Sting.
* My god, who has five hours for anything anymore?