AUDIO: TOURIST GRABS TIGER TESTICLES FOR SELFIE
Yes, they were still attached.
TWO FIGHTING PYTHONS FALL THROUGH KITCHEN CEILING
Gilliam and Cleese, I bet.
HELP WANTED: NAKED MOVER
Your junk can help move our junk.
MAN PUBLISHING HAND-WRITTEN NOVEL
I’ll wait for the movie.
HYPNOTHERAPY CURES WOMAN’S FEAR OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
20 years of mac & cheese.
87-YEAR-OLD IRONMAN STILL COMPETING
No rust yet on this guy.
DUTCH MASTERWORK PAINTING STOLEN FOR THE THIRD TIME
Time to replace the batteries in the burglar alarm.