AUDIO: “ELSA” TOY DOLL FOUND ORGASMING IN TOY BOX
This is a riot.
POOR FISHERMAN FINDS WHALE VOMIT WORTH MILLIONS
The elusive ambergris, nature’s Powerball ticket.
MAN DIES IN PRISON FOR LISTENING TO THE RADIO TOO LOUD
‘Ere, bud, turn it down.
KENYAN MAN NOT DEAD, AS DISCOVERED DURING EMBALMING
Doesn’t want to go on the cart.
AUSTRIAN TOWN OF F—ING CHANGES ITS NAME
Effing Austria, ammirite?
COUPLE NEEDED MOUNTAIN RESCUE ON SECOND DATE
Things were a little… rocky.
THE SMELL OF HISTORY
Sweat and bad cologne.