VANDAL TERRORIZES TOWN WITH BAKED BEANS
Probably some saucy wench.
WOMAN MISTAKES ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH FOR HISSING COBRA
She was pretty rattled.
DUTCH MAN DIES AFTER SWALLOWING CAR KEYS
No one could understand him.
WOMAN SETS RECORD RUNNING ON ALL FOURS
Really feeling her oats.
SNAKE BITES MAN, MAN BITES SNAKE
The guy with the snake on his face.
ELON MUSK TO LAUNCH SPACE BILLBOARD
Watch this space.
WANDERING CHINESE ELEPHANTS RETURNING HOME
Walkabout’s over.
SHERWOOD FOREST FULL OF NUDISTS
I think I see a little john.