Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
AUDIO: TOP SELLING COUNTRY SONG IS A.I.
“Walk My Walk” by Breaking Rust
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
MISS UNIVERSE CONTESTANTS WALKOUT
Pageant producer calls one a “dummy.”
OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS FOR 2025
Sneex the Tepper. (we don’t know what it means, either.)
TOM BRADY CLONED HIS DOG
And wants you to know about it.
HIGHEST EARNING DEAD CELEBRITIES OF 2025
Michael Jackson, King of Dead Pop
UFC ACCUSED OF FIGHT FIXING
Eat a fist, take a dive.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Guy asks his friend, “What did you get for Christmas?”
Friend says, “I got a dumb sweater.”
Guy says, “Well, a sweater’s nice.”
Friend says, “Yeah, but I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.”
How do snails fight?
They slug it out.
Guy asks his new wife, “Am I the first man you’ve ever slept with?”
The wife says, “Now that you mention it, you do look familiar.”
Why do hockey rinks have curved corners?
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
A doctor tells his patient he’s being moved to the east wing.
As they’re rolling him down the hallway, the patient says, “What’s in the east wing?”
Doctor says, “The morgue.”
Patient says, “But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor says, “It’s a long hallway.”
U.S. NEWS
FLORIDA WOMAN SPEEDS TO GET TO PIZZA SHOP BEFORE IT CLOSED
The 107 mph pizza.
THE APPLE iPHONE SOCK POCKET
Sock it to me.
PANCAKE BATTERS FATHER
A part of this concussive breakfast.
ITALIAN PASTA MAY DISAPPEAR FROM SHELVES
Use your noodle!
BEAR BREAKS INTO SAME HOUSE TWICE
Bear’s repeating.
BEAR STEALS CHAINSAW
Bear steals Stihl.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
FRENCHMAN RIDES BICYCLE UP THE EIFFEL TOWER
Oui, mais pourquoi ?
NEW TAMAGOTCHI-TYPE TOY: KEEP BACTERIA ALIVE
Kill a living organism – great for kids!
AUDIO: MISS CHILE SINGS DEATH METAL AT PAGEANT
I’m strangely turned on right now.
FRENCH MAN STRIKES GOLD DIGGING POOL
Holy crepe!
MAN HAS PERSISTENT HALLUCINATION OF BREASTS
Like this is a bad thing.
JAPANESE ZOO OFFERS OPPORTUNITY TO SMELL ANIMAL BUTTS
Smell ya later.
THE 30-YEAR-OLD QUARTER POUNDER
McHistory.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Yee-haw!
Good Morning
Hello, Yes, This Is Otter
I Love You, Too
Moe & Curly Cockatoo
Buckle In, Gals, It’s Gonna Be A Wild Ride
THE BUZZ
MISSED THE HINT
God, men are stupid.
WHAT IS THE WORST THING YOU WERE SERVED GROWING UP?
Let us bow our heads and say thanks for the Miracle Whip.
THE MOMENT YOU KNEW YOU WERE DUMPING HIM
Tales from the shallow end of the dating pool.
THE BEAUTY BACKFIRE EFFECT
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.
THE PERFECT AGE TO DIE: 91
Sez you.
TOY HALL OF FAME VOTES TRIVIAL PURSUIT, BATTLESHIP AND SLIME
You slimed my battleship!
THE WORST WEDDING SONGS
♪♪ And this bird you cannot change /Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh… ♫
DUMB HEADLINES
Which is the dumbest? Have your audience vote!
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
THE RUNNING MAN
Starts Friday, November 14 in theaters.
NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DON’T
Starts Friday, November 14 in theaters.
THE CARPENTER’S SON
Starts Friday, November 14 in theaters.
PREDATOR: BADLANDS
Starts Friday, November 7 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
A & M AUTOLAND – Straight Talk
No fancy promotions this week. No sense, either.
THE FRIDAY FUSTERCLICKS
For Friday, November 7.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – No Dicker Sticker Sale
Yet another sticky situation for Big Al and Big Mike.
DODECAHEDRONS
Twelve flavors in one chip! Maybe more even.
THE FRIDAY FUSTERCLICKS
For Friday, October 31.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Halloween
Al and Mike come up with their corniest promotion ever.
CRYPT HUNTERS
A spin on HGTV’s House Hunters.
SONG: MY HALLOWEEN THINGS
A Halloween sing-a-long!
THE FRIDAY FUSTERCLICKS
For Friday, October 24.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Jamborama
What’s in a name? Al and Mike may never know.
SCHNORRMAN’S – HALLOWEEN CANDY
If you’re looking for Halloween candy…
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