Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
THE SUPER BOWL STREAKER JUST LOOKING FOR ATTENTION
Free advertising!
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
SUPER BOWL ADS
The best Super Bowl ads, edited for time.
MAN HAS BEEN TO EVERY SUPER BOWL FOR 60 YEARS
“I remember seeing Janet Jackson’s booby.” – (not a real quote.)
SUPER BOWL MERCH COMPANY APOLOGIZES FOR CRAPPY PRODUCTS
Many happy returns.
SPECIAL NOTE: THE WINTER OLYMPICS
From Morning Sidekick!
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
OLYMPICS BEGIN WITH A POWER OUTAGE
And they’re off! The lights, I mean.
TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, THE TV SERIES
LeatherFace the Nation.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
A very shy guy sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.
After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, “Can I buy you a drink?”
The woman yells at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
The guy slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.” ANd the guy says, “What do you mean $200?”
What does an escalator say when it stops working?
Nothing. It just stairs.
What has four legs and a hand?
A happy pit bull.
Why did the fat man go to the paint store?
To get thinner.
What instrument does an owl play?
The flhoot.
U.S. NEWS
AUDIO: IGUANA TACOS
Don’t forget the iguana egg guacamole.
FIRE-JUGGLING UNICYCLIST IN CROSSWALK
Hell on wheel.
ILLEGAL BASE JUMPER CLAIMED VIDEO WAS MADE BY AI
Sure it was.
SOMEONE GOT A TATTOO AT WENDY’S
Sir, this isn’t an Arby’s.
WISCONSIN SERIAL POOPER CAUGHT ON DRONE
They found diddly squat.
PHILADELPHIA ART MUSEUM IS NOW PHILADELPHIA MUSEUM OF ART AGAIN
They’re the same picture.
EX-EMPLOYEE BREAKS INTO LITTLE CAESAR’S, SELLS PIZZAS, POCKETS CASH
Clever plan, too much work.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
13-YEAR OLD STEALS PARENTS’ CAR; GETS FUTURE POINTS ON HIS LICENSE
Hooligan-in-training.
AN ITALIAN JOB
Not THE Italian Job.
DUTCH QUEEN JOINS THE ARMY RESERVE
Battle royal.
WOMAN ADJUSTS TRAFFIC MIRROR FOR FENG-SHUI, CAUSES TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS
On reflection, a bad idea.
MAN HAD WORLD WAR I ARTILLERY SHELL IN RECTUM
One in a million shot, doc.
13-YEAR OLD SWIMS OVER 2 MILES TO SAVE FAMILY
Says, “Arms very tired.”
WORLD POPULATION COUNT MAY BE OFF BY A LOT
I blame that new math they teach in elementary school.
HOUSECLEANER QUITS JOB AFTER DUCK-FINDING REQUEST
A fowl prank.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Cupcake Art
Catch Of The Day
Dressed To The 9’s
Ready For The Super Bowl
Walkies
Caution Wet Floor
THE BUZZ
OLYMPIC NEWS FOR TUESDAY, FEB 10
News from the games.
AMERICANS CAN’T DECIDE WHAT TO EAT
Hard to believe.
OLYMPIC NEWS FOR MONDAY, FEB 9
Offbeat storis from the games.
RECORD NUMBER OF PEOPLE SKIPPING WORK MONDAY MORNING
Are you one of them?
OLYMPIC NEWS: NEW SPORTS AT THE WINTER OLYMPICS
One is called ‘Pass the UTI”.
DUMB THINGS YOU THOUGHT AS A KID
We all had them.
DUMB HEADLINES
Have listeners vote for t he dumbest headline!
SUPER BOWL 2026 PROP BETS
I have 20 bucks riding on whether or not you’ll do this story.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
OLYMPIC SONG: LUGER
Soy un Olympian.
OLYMPIC UPDATE #3 – BIATHLON ( for 2/10)
For Tuesday, February 10.
OLYMPIC UPDATE #2 – SKI JUMP (for 2/9)
For Monday, February 9.
SONG: OLYMPIC FANFARE
Did you know the Olympic song had words?
SONG: SUPER BOWL FIGARO
What’s opera, doc?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, February 6.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
OLYMPIC UPDATE #1 – OPENING CEREMONY (FOR 2/6)
For Friday, February 6.
A & M AUTOLAND – SCAM
Super Clearance Automotive Markdown!
CONSENSUAL VALENTINE CARDS
Darling, be mine, with permission.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, January 30.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Slide Into Savings
Letting Al and Mike come up with their own promotions is a slippery slope.
THE SLEEP ALGORITHM STORE
Sleep numbers are so last year.
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