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Today Is…

WEDNESDAY – Mar 4

TUESDAY – Mar 3

MONDAY – March 2

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

WEDNESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 4

TUESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 3

MONDAY ALMANAC – March 2

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

WEDNESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 4

TUESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 3

MONDAY TRIVIA – March 2

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

JOHN TRAVOLTA GETS ANOTHER PILOT’S LICENSE

With Travolta on the stick, you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.

ACTOR AWARD WINNERS

Some you know, some you don’t.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

TIMES SQUARE NAKED COWBOY, COWGIRL GETTING DIVORCED

Give me some space, cowboy.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

BROADWAY CANCELED SECOND NIGHT OF PERFORMANCES DUE TO BLIZZARD

“How do I get to Broadway?” “Practice, and a dogsled.”

TOM HANKS FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY ABE LINCOLN

Coming to a theater near you in four score months.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

THE SHERIFF’S OFFICE IN THE NANCY GUTHRIE CASE IS FILMING A REALITY TV SHOW

Plot twist!

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

What’s grey?

posted March 3
A melted penguin.

A cabbie picks up a nun.

posted March 2
After a few minutes, the cabbie says, “Sister, I have a question, but I don´t want to offend you.” The nun says, “I´ve heard just about everything. I promise you, nothing you say will offend me.” Cabbie says, “Alright… I´ve always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun.” She says “Well… are you single?” He says, “Yes.” She says, “Are you Catholic?” He says, “Absolutely!” Nun says, “Pull into that alley.” He does, and she give him a kiss so passionate it could melt stained glass. As they drive away, the cabbie starts crying. The nun says, “My dear child, why are you crying?” He says “Forgive me, Sister… I´ve sinned. I lied. I´m married … and I´m Jewish.” The nun says “That´s okay. My name´s Dave and I´m on my way to a Halloween party.”

What do you can a man with no shins?

posted February 27
Toe-knee.

When is the best time to buy a bird?

posted February 26
When it’s going cheep.

What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?

posted February 25
Lawyers don’t think they are funny, and non-lawyers don’t think they are jokes.

U.S. NEWS

COUPLE FLEW TO DUBAI TO CELEBRATE 20TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY; NOW THEY’RE STUCK

It sounds falafel.

MARATHONER LED OFF-COURSE BY LEAD BIKE, LOSES FIRST PLACE

Stupid GPS.

AUDIO: NEWS ANCHOR & WEATHERMAN ARGUE ON-AIR

Breaking news…your face!

INDIANA DOCTOR HAS LICENSE SUSPENDED FOR MISCONDUCT. AND HOW.

It’s okay, I’m a doctor.

MAN RESCUED AFTER DAYS IN MUD PIT

That sinking feeling.

THE ALPINE DIVORCE

But officer, I thought she was right behind me.

BURGER KING INSTALLS NEW AI SYSTEM FOR EMPLOYEES

You forgot to say thank you [zzzzzap!]

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

LASER MOSQUITO KILLER

The Mosquitonator.

LOUVRE DIRECTOR RESIGNS AFTER OCTOBER HEIST

She is louvreing.

PSYCHOLOGY PROFESSOR HAS AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CHICKEN

Dumb cluck.

SEAGULL HIT BY SOCCER BALL, PLAYER SAVES THE DAY

The bird was not a dead duck.

BOY FALLS FROM APARTMENT WINDOW, IS CAUGHT BY MAN BELOW

Red scare.

NORWEGIAN CRUISE LINE TIGHTENS DRESS CODE

Ah wahnna ate mah roast bheef in mah gym showurts.

RICHARD III HITS AUDIENCE MEMBER WITH A SWORD

Was ever woman in this humour wooed?

SICILIAN MAN TRAINED HIS DOG TO ILLEGALLY DUMP HIS GARBAGE

Good boy.

FUNNY PICTURES

Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.

If The Flintstones Upgraded Their Car

posted March 3

This Is The Best Movie

posted March 2

Road Crew In A Hurry

posted March 2

Just Put It On My Bill

posted February 27

Cloud Cap

posted February 27

Alien, Hot Dog Version

posted February 26

THE BUZZ

THIS MARRIAGE WILL NEVER LAST

Maybe it’s best not to have a wedding cake.

WOMEN SPEND $1,600/YEAR ON HEALTH & BEAUTY

That’s all?

STUDY: MORE CAR ACCIDENTS WHEN NEW MUSIC IS RELEASED

That new track kills.

I’M DATING AN IDIOT

The one that got away.

A ONE IN A MILLION SHOT

It could happen.

THE MOST ANNOYING CAR PASSENGER HABITS

Don’t touch the buttons.

BORING CAREERS THAT PAY

Are you looking for a career change? Now you can!

DUMB HEADLINES

These are actual headlines. Have your listeners vote for the dumbest.

TRENDING

VAL CHMERKOVSKIY HOSPITALIZED FOR VERTIGO

JIM CARREY SAYS IT’S REALLY HIM

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (February 26-28)

NEIL SEDAKA DIES AT 86

ROCK & ROLL 2026 OF FAME NOMINEES

HULU REBOOTING “THE X FILES”

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE (February 20-22)

ROBERT DUVALL DIES AT 95

NEW MOVIES

Click on name for details and audio clips

THE BRIDE

Starts Friday, March 6 in theaters.

HOPPERS

Starts Friday, March 6 in theaters.

SCREAM 7

Starts Friday, February 27 in theaters.

EPiC: ELVIS PRESLEY IN CONCERT

Starts Friday, February 27 in theaters.

Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.

A & M AUTOLAND – EZLease

Sorry, but with Al and Mike, nothing is ever easy.

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, Fedbruary 27.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Funny fake sponsorship announcements

MAIL SNOW

A simple plan.

A & M AUTOLAND – Day Two

It’s Day Two of A&M’s Big Sale starting next week!

THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

For Friday, February 20.

OLYMPIC UPDATE #11 – SNOWBOARD CROSS (for 2/20)

For Friday, February 20.

PROMOS-TO-GO

Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts

OLYMPIC UPDATE #10 – SPEED SKATING (for 2/19)

For Thursday, February 19.

A & M AUTOLAND – Voice Mail

Big Al never quite gets the message.

OLYMPIC CERTIFICATE OF PARTICIPATION

So you didn’t win a medal.

OLYMPIC UPDATE #9 – ICE HOCKEY (for 2/18)

For Wednesday, February 18.

OLYMPIC UPDATE #8 – ATHLETE VILLAGE (for 2/17)

For Tuesday, February 17.

OLYMPIC SPECIMEN CUP

Official sponsor of the Olympic Games.

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