WOMAN TALKS THROUGH MOVIE, THEN PUNCHES MAN WHO SCOLDED HER

An Indiana woman is facing a battery charge after allegedly slugging a fellow moviegoer in the face after he complained about her talking through the entirety of a showing of “Suicide Squad.” LaQuintae Taborn, 34, and William Mason were exiting a theater in Portage, Indiana, early Sunday morning when the confrontation occurred. Mr. Mason told Taborn, “I just wanted to thank you for talking through the entire movie and ruining it for everyone.” Taborn responded by first shoving Mason and then punching him twice in the face, police allege. During police questioning, Taborn reportedly said that she pushed the man when he got close to her. As for the punches, Taborn explained that she hit the man in anticipation of him retaliating for her pushing him.
* And that second punch was in anticipation of him retaliating for the first punch.
* By this logic, she could have just kept beating him up all day.
* Anyway, this is what he gets for skipping church on Sunday morning to see “Suicide Squad.”
* In fairness, I don’t think it was this woman’s talking that ruined “Suicide Squad” for everybody.
* “Suicide Squad” might blow as a movie, but you’ve got to admit it’s been killing at the box office.
* But that’s what you have to do – proactively take someone down so that all the others in the movie theater will respect you. Just like in prison.
* This is how Bush’s Doctrine of Preemptive Strikes works on the local level.
* Of course, George W. would also have the woman claim that the man was working on a weapon that he was going to use on her later.
* That’s how crazy the world is: We get arrested for stuff our leaders do all the time.
* If they kill a bunch of innocent bystanders with a drone, that’s no problem. If we did it, it would be a big legal hassle.