THE QUARANTINE MOMENT THAT BROKE ME

A website called Fatherly.com asked for dads to confess the “Coronavirus Quarantine Moment That Broke Me.” Here are some of them:
– Barry, Connecticut: “We have a five-year-old, and a two-year-old. Weeks after lockdown, Daniel Tiger had been on TV for what seemed like six straight months. The Ugga Mugga song came on — again. My wife told me to go take a bike ride, She probably saved our iPad that day.”
– Chris, Virginia: “Every morning, for about a week, something would break or malfunction when I was trying to print out school worksheets for the kids. I got paper cuts. I got ink all over myself. We ordered a new printer, but it took like two weeks to show up. I’ve never been so angry at a machine before.”
– Jason, Kentucky: “I had to try and teach my daughter the Pythagorean Theorem. She’s decent at math. So, I tried to teach it to her. And I failed, miserably. I don’t remember a damn thing about it. The worst part was when she actually asked me, ‘When am I going to have to use this in real life?’ I said, ‘Never, sweetie. Literally never. But we have to do it anyway.’”
– Ray, Ohio: “We signed up for an online grocery pickup about three weeks into the quarantine. I pulled into the parking lot, and there was a line into the street. People were honking, rolling down windows, yelling at the employees, cursing and arguing. Just the worst parts of humanity on parade, literally. It was sad, and disheartening. And then I got honked at from behind.”
– J.B., New York: “My teenage son started shirking his chores, saying he was too busy with schoolwork. Then I caught him up one night playing Xbox at five in the morning. Not happening. Not anymore.”
– Carson, North Carolina: “I don’t even know what a Beyblade does, except sit in the middle of the living room floor and make my foot bleed. We have two boys, and between them they have about 40 of those little things. I was stressed, having a rough day, and I stepped right on one that had been left out. That might actually have been the first time my sons have heard me curse.”
– Ed, Ohio: “Our daughter filled the Keurig-Cup pod with glue and glitter.”
* This is how aggravated you get when you can’t gather to attend your Goat Yoga.
* Would it help to put up one of those “Keep Calm and Carry On” signs? I guess not, huh?
* Beyblades and feet. I think we could get a class-action lawsuit going here. And include Legos in it while you’re at it.
* You know, in Africa, they’ve got eight people living in two rooms trying to social distance to avoid the virus. But these stories are pretty bad, too.
* PHONE TOPIC: What was the Quarantine Moment that broke you?