MAN ATTACKED BY OTTERS

A man on a morning walk in Singapore was attacked by a raft of otters. (* Yes, it is ‘a RAFT’ of otters, like ‘a FLOCK’ of birds.) Graham Spencer, who is British but a permanent resident of Singapore, was walking past the Singapore Botanic Gardens last Tuesday when he encountered the family of about 20 otters. It was the first time that he had seen otters at the Gardens in the five months that he has been taking his daily morning walks there. As he was waiting for the otters to pass, a runner ran straight into the path of the otters. That was when they turned from “being quiet to going crazy like dogs,” Mr. Spencer said. The otters appeared to mistake him for the runner and attacked him instead, hitting him in the ankles and pushing him to the ground. They then jumped on top of him and started biting him in his shoes and around his buttocks through his shorts for about 10 seconds. Mr. Spencer’s friend, who was about “15 paces” away from him, ran up to him screaming and shouting to scare away the otters, giving Mr. Spencer a chance to jump up and run away from them. He was given tetanus shots and oral antibiotics at a hospital, where a doctor counted 26 otter bites.
* Well THAT experience sure was a pain in the butt.
* I guess he can just throw out that new bottle of fish cologne.
* Mr. Spencer needs a Peloton for Christmas.
* I know people who would pay good money for pants full of otters.
* Chomp! goes the weasel.
* It was like a Frank Zappa album cover come to life. (Weasels Ripped My Flesh)