DAY CARE FIGHT CLUB
The two instigated fights among children, aged 4 to 6.
GUY SET FIRE TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE BECAUSE "HE HAD TO CLEAN IT"
“I’m sorry grandma. Take care of my dog.”
BROKEN FAKE FINGERNAIL SOLVES MURDER
Found near the body.
NEW JERSEY MAN FINDS CANNONBALL IN BACKYARD
It was “fully functional”.
REPRESENTATIVE PROPOSES GENITAL CHECK FOR HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETES
Sounds reasonable.
CHEF STABS ANOTHER CHEF AT P.F. CHANG'S
It happened at the start of the dinner rush. How inconsiderate!
MAN PELTED MOTHER WITH POTATO SALAD
Police arrived to find “food all over her and in her hair.”
PORTLAND POLICE PURSUE PUBLIC POOPER
Quote: “I find it interesting that he has toilet paper with him.”
KITCHEN RENOVATION YIELDS HIDDEN SAFE WITH CASH
And clues to a treasure hunt.