560-POUND MAN RIDING BIKE ACROSS COUNTRY TO GET INTO SHAPE

A 560-pound man is riding a bicycle across the United States in an effort to drop hundreds of pounds. Forty-year-old Eric Hites started his journey last month in Falmouth, Massachusetts. He’s gone 90 miles so far and claims to have lost 60 pounds in the first two weeks. The reason for his sudden change of lifestyle? “I hit 40 and I said, ‘I’ve got to change this,’” he said. Hites decided to do the cross-country trek because his marriage was failing and he wanted to get healthy again. “I thought it would take four months, but I’m almost two months into it and I’m only in Rhode Island,” Hites said. He is currently in Tiverton, Rhode Island due to a bent rim on his bicycle. The Newport Bicycle shop is supplying Hites with new mountain bike wheels to support his weight. Despite the bike issue, Hites is hoping to encourage others to lose weight. “By completing this ride, I hope to encourage others to get up and get moving no matter their weight,” he said.
* Ride, Forrest, ride!
* A 560-pound guy and the rim of his bike wheel bends? What are the odds?
* Anyone know where a 500-pound guy can get a rim job? Wait – let me rephrase that.
* Meanwhile, the bicycle SEAT is thinking, “How much longer, God? How much longer?”
* Just curious – is he wearing one of those “WIDE LOAD” signs?
* His marriage was failing and he wanted to get healthy again? So this is all about getting back into the dating scene.
* There’s gotta be some kind of “bike your way across the USA” video game out there that would be much easier.
* In all seriousness, America: this is how it’s done. Get out and move.
* I just pictured “Mike and Molly” on a bicycle built for two.
* Okay, better make that four.
* I sense the same obsessive behavior that allowed him to get fat is now working the other way and he’s overdoing this.
* How about a little moderation once in a while, huh?
* He should make it across America sometime by the year 2035.