PRISONERS COMPLAIN ABOUT TOO-NOISY GUARDS

California corrections officials said that they are handing out earplugs and telling guards to walk softly around some of the state’s most dangerous prisoners after the inmates complained about noise. The inmates say new welfare checks at Pelican Bay State Prison are keeping them up nights because noise caused by guards wake them every half-hour around the clock. Correctional officers are supposed to pause at each inmate’s cell and peer in long enough to know that the prisoner is breathing, to guard against suicides and other problems like heart attacks. The inmates are complaining that officers are deliberately making noise with their keys and boots and repeatedly slamming the door to the isolation unit, while shining flashlights into each inmate’s eyes. The problem is so bad that the inmates are considering hunger strikes. Some inmates have required medical treatment resulting from sleep deprivation while others are experiencing psychological stress. Nearly 70 noise complaints have been filed by the 1,100 inmates segregated at Pelican Bay since the checks began early last month.
* The guards have also been asked to tiptoe as they blow goodnight kisses to the inmates.
* Are we sure they’re not talking about Guantanemo?
* The category here? Things you should have considered before you did your crimes.
* What were expecting from Pelican Bay? A 5-star resort?
* They also complained that there was no concierge on duty.
* In addition to earplugs, they’re requesting aromatherapy relaxation candles.
* Maybe some New Age harp music?
* Other complaints include the name. If it’s called Pelican Bay where are the pelicans?
* Wait, they’re in a maximum security prison and they’re feeling psychological stress? What did they expect to feel? Bliss?