ASSAULT WITH A POOPER SCOOPER

A Bradenton, Florida, woman smacked her live-in boyfriend in the face with a pooper scooper during an early-morning confrontation in their apartment. Megan Smith, 27, was arrested for battery around 5 am Monday when an argument about “living arrangements” with victim Alexander Buck turned physical. Police charge that Smith “picked up a pooper scooper and hit the victim in the face with it multiple times.” The pooper scooper strikes knocked Buck’s glasses off his face and left him with “multiple abrasions to his left eyebrow and forehead.” Buck fled the couple’s home and called 911. During police questioning, Smith reportedly admitted to striking Buck with the scooper, which is used to handle cat litter. She stated she hit him because the victim would not stop arguing with her.
* Assault with a pooper scooper. That stinks.
* Was it loaded?
* Did they book her for assault with a doo-doo-dly weapon?
* On the bright side, their living arrangements won’t be a problem anymore.
* The takeaway here is: Never get into an argument near a cat box.
* I doubt they set the alarm for 5 a.m. to have this fight. Something tells me they were up all night.
* Please, Monday mornings are bad enough as it is.
* Actually, getting hit in the face with a pooper scooper is a great metaphor for the Monday experience.
* Now the cat is afraid to go.
* This guy really ate it.