FLORIDA WOMAN WRECKS SUBWAY OVER UNWANTED PEPPERS
There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
KID ROBS STORE WITH A BRICK
Mortarfied.
PIPE BOMB FUN
That’s entertainment.
MAN WITH OUTSTANDING WARRANT APPLIES FOR POLICE JOB
He copped to it.
SNAKE BITE MAN
For Duty and Humanity.
96 BANANAS STOLEN FROM WAWA
Approximately.
ALLIGATOR ON THE CAR ROOF
Hey, somebody left a perfectly good alligator by the side of the road!
POLICE APOLOGIZE FOR NAMING WRONG MAN AS FECES SMEARER
Gee, sorry about that and all.