LAKELAND FLORIDA CONSIDERS CHANGING NAME OF LAKE HORNEY

Lakeland, Florida commissioners are planning to poll area residents on whether they should change the name of a local lake. The water feature in question is named Lake Horney. One local resident who lives on the lake, Barry Zimmerman, is frustrated with salacious jokes connecting Lake Horney with its unfortunate homophone, and has petitioned the U.S Board of Geographic Names to rename the lake in honor of Alfred Lodwick, an aviation pioneer who built a military pilot training program in Lakeland during World War II.
* Oh – HORNEY!!!! Now I get it.
* Hey, if Intercourse, Pennsylvania can live with their name, man up.
* I just checked this area on Google maps. There’s about 50 lakes per square mile. This guy should just move to the next block.
* I bet on occasion Lodwick was horny, but Horney was never Lodwick.
* Problem is, once you change the name, then you’re going to have to teach Asian hookers to say “Hello, sailor, me so Lodwick.”
* I understand. Florida wouldn’t want to get a reputation for promiscuous sex.
* Oh wait, they already have one.
* What do you think those kids are doing down there on Spring Break? Meditating?
* Clearly, you haven’t been looking at many clips on the Internet.
* I say double down on the name and change it to Lake Me So Horny.