SQUIRRELS, PEANUTS, A CHANNEL TO THE AFTERLIFE AND A SHOT IN THE ASS
“My parents have shown themselves to me through the squirrels.”
MAN KIDNAPS WILD BABY BUFFALO OUT OF FEAR IT WAS FREEZING
He took it to a park ranger.
AUDIO: FOR SALE – HOUSE-TRAINED BUFFALO
“She watches the fish tank for a while.”
TURTLE THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD
On the Florida interstate.
AUDIO: WOMAN EMBEZZLED $7,000 IN QUARTERS
Laundry money.
MAN WAKES UP FROM COMA, ASKS FOR TACO BELL
“I want Taco Bell.”
"FREE HUGS" GUY HITS LADY
He demanded a tip.
AUDIO: OWNER BUTCHERS HOG OUTSIDE RESTAURANT
It wasn’t for the restaurant. Uh huh.
BELLIGERENT MAN TO COP: "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, FAT BOY?"
Fat Boy had an answer to that.
SECURITY GUARD SHOOTS SELF IN LEG WAITING FOR JOB INTERVIEW
Applying for a school janitor.