FLOOR COLLAPSES AT CHURCH'S FRIED CHICKEN IN TEXAS
Three injured.
90-YEAR-OLD MAN ARRESTED FOR SOLICITING PROSTITUTE
“I don’t give a (expletive). I’m 90 years old!
CANDIDATE FOR SHERIFF TREATED FOR HEROIN OVERDOSE
I shot up the sheriff.
FIGHT BREAKS OUT IN FRONT OF COFFIN
Aunt Suzanne didn’t want to leave.
MOON EXPRESS
Wants to land a vehicle on the moon next year.
TEACHER LET AIR OUT OF STUDENT'S TIRE FOR PARKING IN HIS SPACE
Security guard let the kid park there.
HUSBAND RAILS OVER THIRD SLICE OF CHEESE IN SANDWICH
Everyone knows you’re only supposed to use two slices.
BEER-DRINKING MAN FALLS OUT OF GIANT REDWOOD TREE
Hit all the branches on the way down.
MAN ARRESTED BREAKING INTO PRISON
Caught scaling the fence.