AUDIO: DODGE BALL GAME TURNS VICIOUS
High school gym class, of course.
NUDE PIZZA SHOP BURGLAR ARRESTED
His pants ripped off dropping through the vent.
WOMAN BEATS FIANCE WITH PLANK OVER ENGAGEMENT RING
With 1-inch nails in it (the plank, not the ring)
GUY TRIES THE OLD "BUY ALL THE NEWSPAPERS" TRICK
To hide drunk driving mugshot.
NEW WEST VIRGINIA SHERIFF STEALS METH OUT OF EVIDENCE LOCKER
Arrested third day on the job.
AUDIO: COPS LASSO RUNAWAY CALF ON HIGHWAY
Calf was on the lam.
EMERGENCY ROOM PATIENT, TIRED OF WAITING, PULLS GUN
Guess where he ended up?
ALEXA STRIKES AGAIN
6-year-old accidentally orders a dollhouse and cookies.
CHICAGO PARENTS NAME FIRST BABY OF 2017 WRIGLEY
Wrigley Rose.
2-YEAR-OLD PUSHES FALLEN DRESSER OFF OF TWIN BROTHER
Moral: screw the furniture to the wall.