BURGLAR RETURNS TO SCENE OF CRIME TO LOOK HIS FOR KEYS
Alcohol was involved.
RESTAURANT OWNERS SENTENCED TO MASSIVE JAIL TERM FOR FRAUD
I’m sure those 723 years will just fly by.
ARCHAEOLOGISTS FIND OLDEST THEATER IN LONDON
Silence thy cell phone.
AUDIO: WORLD DIAMOND GLUT
Too many diamonds!
MAN SHOOTS HIMSELF WITH CROSSBOW
Cross(bow) my heart and hope to (not) die.
MAN KILLED WITH FORKLIFT LOAD
Book ’em. Mortar One.
AMAZON WORKER LOSES ENGAGEMENT RING WHILE PACKING BOXES
Be on the lookout.
GERMAN HOTEL BANS OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE
No appropriate furniture.