THURSDAY, Apr 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION
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TACHYON TAX
Faster than TurboTax!
96 BANANAS STOLEN FROM WAWA
Approximately.
RUSSIAN WANTS SOVEREIGN TERRITORY ON THE MOON
Just what the moon needs: assholes.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
ALLIGATOR ON THE CAR ROOF
Hey, somebody left a perfectly good alligator by the side of the road!
MADONNA TO GUEST ON “THE STUDIO”
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HOW DID YOU GET YOUR NAME?
As if your parents gave it a lot of thought.
THE COST OF RAISING A BABY
What a racket.