Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
Did you know the man who invented the speedboat died?
His funeral is tomorrow, followed by a wake.
A gingerbread man goes to the doctor.
He says, “My knee hurts.” Doctor says, “Have you tried icing it?”
A man at the World Cup final notices there’s an empty seat in between himself and the next guy.
The man says, “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?” The other guy replies, “Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.” The man, “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?” The guy says, “No. They’re all at the funeral.”
At a corporate board meeting the CEO tells a joke.
Everyone laughs hysterically, except for one guy.
The CEO askes the guy, “Didn’t you get it?” And the guy says, “Oh, I got it. But today’s my last day.”
Why does kangaroo meat taste like beer?
Because of all the hops.
What happened to the man who was afraid to plant an apple tree?
They told him to grow a pear.
What do you see when the sun bends over?
The crack of dawn.
Where do sick ships go?
To the doc,