COLLEGE LOCKDOWN OVER LIGHT SABER

A New York college went on lockdown Wednesday over a report of a gun on campus, but the weapon turned out to be a light saber. (* Just to clarify: a light saber is a pretend thing.) Students and staff members at Farmingdale State College on Long Island were told to “shelter in place” Wednesday while police investigated a report that someone was assembling a rifle in a school parking lot. They soon discovered that the rifle was actually a “Star Wars” light saber, presumably a flashlight with a colored plastic tube on the end.
* Somebody needs new glasses.
* Farmingdale State College may not have the highest entrance standards.
* I fail to understand how Kylo Ren expects to kill someone with a flashlight with a colored plastic tube on the end.
* I suppose you could kill some ants or a small lizard if you beat them with it.
* To repeat: there is no such thing as a light saber. It’s pretend. Like Harry Potter wizards, and the number of Kardashian Twitter followers.
* Wait, this could mean an invasion from the Death Star.
* It’s kind of like Homecoming Day meets Return of the Jedi.
* Notice how you never see a fun story with the phrase “shelter in place” in it.
* So was it a time traveler from another galaxy or what?
* Oh well. This is certainly one area where you can understand them erring on the side of caution.