16-YEAR-OLD GIRL MASTERMINDS CARJACKING HER OWN FATHER
Kids today, huh?
ELDERLY WOMAN AND HER PARAKEET IN POLICE CHASE
It was a slow-speed chase.
LUCKY CHARMS INTRODUCES MARSHMALLOW UNICORN
Magically nutritious.
MUSEUM OF CANDY OPENING IN NYC
Please don’t lick the exhibits.
WOMAN TRIED TO RIP OFF BOYFRIEND'S GENITALS
Domestic dispute.
MAN ACCIDENTALLY TEXTS DETECTIVE ABOUT KILLING HIS GIRLFRIEND
Old people + technology = laffs
MCDONALD'S ELIMINATING HAPPY MEAL CHEESEBURGER
NOW it’ll be healthy.
MAYOR ALLEGEDLY OFFERED SPEED BUMPS FOR SEX
Lantana, Florida.