SOMEONE LOST STUDENTS SAT TESTS
They will have to retake them.
EYE-STABBING OVER THE LAST RIB
She was also accused of “taking all the food.”
DRUNK FISHERMAN ILLEGALLY HAULS IN 122 SEA BASS
He was slightly over the limit of 8 fish.
THE FIRST CHURCH OF CANNABIS
Lighting up is referred to as the “call to worship.”
WOMAN DUI ON 13 CANS OF WHIPPED CREAM FUMES
She ran into a ditch and crashed into a mailbox.
MAN STEALS AK-47 BY STUFFING IT DOWN HIS PANTS
And a second rifle that’s not famous enough to name.
GUY STRUCK BY LIGHTNING – RIGHT IN THE HEAD
He thought he’d wait out the storm under a tree.
WORST SCARECROW EVER: BIRDS LIVE IN IT
And poop on it.
MAN ATTACKS GIRLFRIEND OVER NASCAR TRASH TALK
He strangled her.
HOTEL GUESTS FIGHT OVER BUFFET WAFFLE MAKER
At the breakfast buffet.