MAN ASKS PERMISSION TO ROB A HOUSE
He was denied, so he robbed the one next door.
ICED TEA WILL NOW KILL YOU
..if you drink a gallon a day.
MR DING-A-LING v. SNOW KONE JOE
Case dismissed.
PORTLAND, OREGON, AIRPORT REPLACING CARPET; CITIZENS FREAK OUT
More than 800 lined up last week to snap photos with the carpet.
WOMAN POOPS AT KMART, BUT NOT IN THE BATHROOM
Behind a checkout counter.
STRANGLED WITH BRA, VICTIM HITS ATTACKER WITH CHICKEN
A ceramic chicken, but still…
MAN INJURED BY PIZZA HUT CROUTONS
They broke his denture.
TOPPLING TOMBSTONE KILLS MAN
He was visiting the family gravesite.
WOMAN STABS BOYFRIEND WHO ATE ALL THE SALSA
She also knocked over his TV.
CINNAMON BUN RAGE
The victim did some “high-stepping” to get out of the way.