82-YEAR-OLD SLASHES TIRES OVER BINGO
An 88-year-old woman sat in his favorite chair.
ATHLETIC CUP INVENTOR TESTS PRODUCT WITH RIFLE SHOT TO THE GROIN
“Don’t try this at home.”
HOOTERS WAITRESS DONATES KIDNEY TO CUSTOMER
She doesn’t even know him all that well.
ALARM CLOCK SENIOR PRANK CAUSES SCHOOL EVACUATION
They put alarm clocks in the lockers.
SOMEONE LOST STUDENTS SAT TESTS
They will have to retake them.
EYE-STABBING OVER THE LAST RIB
She was also accused of “taking all the food.”
DRUNK FISHERMAN ILLEGALLY HAULS IN 122 SEA BASS
He was slightly over the limit of 8 fish.
THE FIRST CHURCH OF CANNABIS
Lighting up is referred to as the “call to worship.”
WOMAN DUI ON 13 CANS OF WHIPPED CREAM FUMES
She ran into a ditch and crashed into a mailbox.
MAN STEALS AK-47 BY STUFFING IT DOWN HIS PANTS
And a second rifle that’s not famous enough to name.