THE BROOKLYN SERIAL SPITTER
…is on the loose.
WOMAN EATS CHICKEN WINGS DURING POLICE CHASE
Police noticed a “brownish substance” on her mouth.
CAR SALESMAN KIDNAPPED, BEATEN DURING TEST DRIVE
And tossed in the trunk.
COMPANY FINED FOR NOT PAYING FOR BATHROOM BREAKS
Employees had to clock out to use the restroom.
REPORT OF GRAIN ELEVATOR FIRE JUST A RECLUSIVE JUGGLER
Firefighters in Fort Worth, Texas, responded to a grain elevator fire Sunday night. When they opened the doors they found a man juggling flaming batons. A spokesman for the fire company said the man didn’t have a reason to be there. “They put his torches out,” he said. * Oh well, back to the apples…
OLD NAVY IN TROUBLE OVER T-SHIRT SLOGAN
“Young Aspiring Artist”
AMISH BUGGY COLLISION
Oh, the humanity.
DYING DOG HAS BUCKET LIST
Bubble bath? Watch the sunset?
COLD-HEARTED NEW YEAR'S REVELER GETS SCOLDED
“We spent $700+ and had our meal ruined by watching a dead person being wheeled out.”
DOMINO'S DELIVERY MAN STABS CUSTOMER
The pizza was late.