AMERICAN TIME CAPSULE
See you in 250 years.
GREAT AMERICAN STATE FAIR NOT OFF TO A GREAT AMERICAN START
The state of America.
MAN SHOOTS BB GUN AT NAKED BIKE RIDERS
Crack pot is a crack shot.
COUPLE HAS THIRD SET OF TWINS
Spare me.
POLICE BUST DONATION BIN GANG
They’re stealing stuff nobody wants.
BLOW-DART BANDIT ARRESTED
Point well taken.
GIRAFFE MISSING IN TEXAS
Those things can be so darn sneaky.
MAN SKATEBOARDS ACROSS USA IN 39 DAYS
True – no fakie.
ZOO CLOSED ON ACCOUNT OF ANIMAL
Bear left.
MAN FALLS IN CAMPGROUND TOILET RETRIEVING SUNGLASSES
Honey, hold my ankles.