WOMAN JUMPS OUT OF AIRPLANE ON THE GROUND
While waiting for an available gate.
COUPLE MARRIES IN SUPERMARKET ON THANKSGIVING
Where they met four years ago.
SUSPECT TO COPS: "HE WENT THAT WAY."
Didn’t work.
WOMAN SHOOTS HOUSEGUESTS WHO WOULDN'T LEAVE
Totally justifiable.
REPO MAN PAYS OFF CAR FOR ELDERLY COUPLE
They reminded him of his late grandparents.
FIRED TRUCKER DUMPS LOAD OF CORN
After being fired by text message.
MAN STABS FATHER WHO WANTED TO CIRCUMCISE HIM
He didn’t want his putz futzed.
CALIFORNIANS WANT TO SECEDE
Calexit.
WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO USE PIZZA SLICE AS I.D.
Surprisingly, pizza is not a valid means of I.D.