CANDIDATE KICKED OFF THE BALLOT DUE TO INFREQUENT TOILET FLUSHES
Two per day is not enough.
TEST DRIVER STEALS MASERATI
A very cunning plan.
COMMUTER BEATEN UP BY SUBWAY DANCERS
Suffering for someone else’s art.
MAN GATHERS PITCHFORKS, POKES WOMAN IN HER BEHIND
Gathering pitchforks?
AUDIO: MAN WITH SWORDS OUTSIDE A FLORIDA WALMART
Alcohol may have been a factor.
AUDIO: TOWN REPEALS NO-DANCING ORDINANCE
Oh, please, Louise.
AUDIO: CAST A SPELL ON PRESIDENT TRUMP
So mote it be.
DOG SHOOTS MAN'S GIRLFRIEND
In her sleep.