SCAMMER PRETENDS TO BE DRUMMER FOR NICKELBACK
That old trick.
MAN FALLS THROUGH ICE INTO MANURE PIT
In a skid loader.
CHURCH HAS BIZARRE MARRIAGE RULES
No sex for a year.
CHUCK E. CHEESES GET MORE EMERGENCY CALLS THAN STRIP CLUBS
In Tampa, Florida.
PAPA JOHN'S BEGINS FAST PASS PIZZA
Jump the line for 2.99
GIRLFRIEND SHOOTS MAN IN CROTCH, ELSEWHERE
Hey – fireworks!
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES DEMANDED TO COVER DEBT
Cash or cookies.
TWO PEOPLE WANT TO GO AROUND THE MOON
And come back, presumably.
ROBBER ARMED WITH SNOWBALL
Pow, right in the kisser.
NEW GYM FOR STONERS
Getting high will be encouraged.