POTENTIAL SYRUP SHORTAGE
Curse you, global warming!
RESTAURANT INTRODUCES FLIPPY, THE ROBOT BURGER FLIPPER
Or is that flippin’ burger robot?
LAWYER, LAWYER, PANTS ON FIRE
Lawyer’s pants catch fire during closing argument.
STARBUCKS: 20 MORE PER STORE
Just do it.
GREAT GRANDMA SLUGGED RIGHT IN THE BREADBASKET
Key phrase: “You’re the bitch.”
WOMAN MISCONSTRUES MEANING OF STOLEN WINDCHIMES
“Our mom died and liked butterflies”
TWO ARRESTED IN MASSIVE DIAPER THEFT
Number 1 and Number 2 Most Wanted