ESCAPED MONKEY FINDS A HOME IN NEW JERSEY
As they do.
OZEMPIC FOR PETS IS COMING
Drugs fix everything.
RACCOON RANSACKS LIQUOR STORE, PASSES OUT
“The raccoon is noted for its intelligence.” – WIkipedia
OCEAN SPRAY CRANBERRY SAUCE CANS FULL OF WATER
Thanksgiving dinner ruined. RUINED!!
AUDIO: AMERICAN TRAGEDY, PEOPLE CUTTING BACK ON PIZZA
Americans are taking it in the anchovies.
NEW YORK CITY TO GET THREE CASINOS
You betcha.
TWIN BROTHER WANTS TO REPLACE RETIRING CONGRESSMAN
Double trouble.
FIREMEN FIRED FOR HAZING
Alarming.