SAILOR RESCUED AFTER A MONTH AT SEA
Just off the boat.
DRYER SHEET IN THE MAILBOX
Do WHAT in the mailbox?
HORROR CIRCUS – THE SCARIEST SHOW ON EARTH
Cirque du Slay.
HUMAN REMAINS FOUND WHILE CLEANING OUT DEAD RELATIVE’S FREEZER
No wonder Aunt Betty missed Thanksgiving last year.
U.S. BEACH IS WORLD’S TOP BEACH… SORTA
You’ll never get see it.
MICHIGAN MAN DUMPS ANIMAL PARTS AT CEMETERY
The plot thickens.
GREASE THIEVES
Grease is the word.
MAN KICKS ROCK FOR 200 DAYS TO SEE IF IT WILL TURN INTO A SPHERE
Are you ready to rock?
BEAR STUCK IN CAR, HONKS HORN ALL NIGHT
Then, bear left.
MAN TAKES $500,000 POLICE SWAT VEHICLE ON JOYRIDE
Probably to impress a girl.