BODY ON A GURNEY FALLS OUT OF BACK OF VAN
Hijinks ensue.
BURGLAR FORGETS TO FLUSH, LEAVING DNA THAT LED TO HIS ARREST
You should have taken care of that before work.
FUNERAL HOME FINED FOR REUSING CASKETS
And that’s dead wrong.
GALS GET REVENGE ON GUY WHO WAS "INTERVIEWING" THEM FOR DATING
He lined up six dating interviews.
FRIED CHICKEN BEER
“It doesn’t even remotely taste like chicken.”
BEAR TRASHES CAR, TAKES IT FOR A RIDE
Does a bear crap in a car in the woods?
SENATOR ORRIN HATCH DEFINES "SHOT THEIR WAD"
“They shot their wad on health care.”
RAPPER BRAGS OF SURVIVING 11 SHOOTINGS, BUT NOT THE TWELFTH
“I’m bulletproof.”
PROFESSOR LETS STUDENTS PICK THEIR OWN GRADES
It eliminates stress, man.
AUDIO: ARRESTEE SINGS PEARL JAM FOR THE CAMERAS
“Freezin’ rests his head on a pillow made of concrete again!”