COUPLE HAS THIRD SET OF TWINS
Spare me.
POLICE BUST DONATION BIN GANG
They’re stealing stuff nobody wants.
BLOW-DART BANDIT ARRESTED
Point well taken.
GIRAFFE MISSING IN TEXAS
Those things can be so darn sneaky.
MAN SKATEBOARDS ACROSS USA IN 39 DAYS
True – no fakie.
ZOO CLOSED ON ACCOUNT OF ANIMAL
Bear left.
MAN FALLS IN CAMPGROUND TOILET RETRIEVING SUNGLASSES
Honey, hold my ankles.
87-YEAR-OLD MAN WINS LOTTERY
It’s about time.
DRONE WITH A MAGNET DISARMS SUSPECT
Wolverine vs. Magneto, sort of.
DRIVER DOES DONUTS IN FRONT OF POLICE STATION
To impress a girl.