FAT MARMOT WEEK
Oh, don’t marmot-shame.
49ers OWNER ARRESTED FOR PROSTITUTION
Busted play.
COOKIES MADE FROM PLASTIC
The cookies that comes from elves’ water bottles.
ALASKA WOMAN JIU-JITSU’S A BEAR
Escaped, bearly.
COPS HIJACK UBER TO CHASE SUSPECT
There goes his rating.
DETROIT PAYS STUDENTS FOR PERFECT ATTENDANCE
$100 a week to show up.
THE MALE-ONLY LUST-FREE GYM
Lift up thy spirit, along with thy medicine ball.
AUDIO: DARTH VADER SPEAKS TO CITY COUNCIL IN FAVOR OF FLOCK CAMERAS
Luke, I am your cosplayer.
FLORIDA WOMAN BITES HUSBAND’S EAR ON THE INTERSTATE
Then things got eerie.
THE TOP FOODS AT THE TEXAS STATE FAIR
“Top” being a relative term here.