AUDIO: CHUCK E. CHEESE GETTING RID OF ROBOT BAND
At least they’ll still have that delicious pizza.
SURGERY CURES GORILLA OF CONSTIPATION
A second cup of coffee wouldn’t do it?
WOMAN FREED FROM CANYON WITH DISH SOAP
Nothing like Dawn in the canyon.
FAMILY DOG DIGS UP DRUGS IN BACKYARD
$85,000 worth of heroin
ROBBERS BLOWING UP ATMS
In San Diego
FAMILY FORCED TO JUMP THEIR CAR OVER OPENING DRAWBRIDGE
Just like in the movies!
PARTIAL BODY FOUND IN SHOPPING CART
In the Bronx.
DRIVE-THRU RAGE: MAN DENIED ICE CREAM PULLS OUT RIFLE
Machine wasn’t working.
DRUNK DRIVER SMASHES INTO "REPORT DRUNK DRIVERS" SIGN
In California, a suspected drunk driver suffered serious injuries when he crashed his Jeep into a road sign on Highway 1 Wednesday morning. The sign read, “REPORT DRUNK DRIVERS. CALL 911.” According to police, the driver lost control around 11:30 a.m., and the vehicle ran over the sign, careened up an embankment, flipped, and landed…
GUY SPRAYS BORDER PATROL CAR WITH LIQUID MANURE
For not arresting enough illegal immigrants.