AUDIO: NURSES SUSPENDED FOR OPENING BODY BAG TO VIEW DEAD MAN'S HUGE GENITALS
Poor stiff.
COPS SHOOT BENGAL TIGER IN ATLANTA SUBURBS
On the loose.
AUDIO: WOMAN CATCHES DEALER MECHANIC TAKING JOYRIDE IN HER CAMARO
Uhh…just taking it for a test drive?
GROWN MAN'S LEGOS STOLEN
Waaaaahhhh!!!
AT LAST, YOU CAN CARRY A SWORD IN TEXAS
Also, throwing knives.
MAN HITS SELF IN HEAD WITH CINDER BLOCK
Claims assault.
WOMAN HOLDS PERSONAL TACO EAT/WALK MARATHON
Walk for the border.
GUY JUMPS INTO OCEAN TO ELUDE POLICE, IS CHASED BY SHARK
Come and get me, coppers- ha ha!