Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
What is a cannibal’s favorite snack?
A Butterfinger
What do you call a pizza with just peppers on it?
Pepperonly pizza.
What happened to the man who couldn’t pay his water bill?
They sent him a get well card.
Did you hear about the two radios that got married?
The reception was amazing.
A blonde goes up to the counter and says: “I’d like to order fries and a coke.”
The lady at the counter says: “Ma’am, this is a library.” The blonde goes, “Oh. (whispering): “I’d like to order fries and a coke.”
A group of elements walk into a bar.
Someone asks them, “Come here often?” One of them says, “Periodically.”
A small boy was lost.
He walks up to a policeman and says, “I’ve lost my dad!”
The cop says, “What’s he like?” The little boy says, “Beer and women.”
A man walks in a bar and shouts, “Free beers outside!”
Everyone in the bar, except the bartender, ran outside in excitement. The bartender yells at the man, “What the hell did you do that for? Now I have no customers!!” The man says, “Sorry mister, I honestly didn’t fink any of those men would be brave enough to fight a grizzly beer, let alone free of ’em.”