So Judas says to Jesus, “Hey, are you coming to the last supper tonight?”
Jesus says, “The what???”
Judas goes, “Uh, the SUPPER… Are you coming to the SUPPER tonight…”
Why should you wear glasses in math class?
It helps with di-vision.
You know the problem with the winter Olympics?
They start out okay, but then go downhill fast
A man is in the Emergency Room waiting area.
Doctor comes out, says, “I have some bad news. I’m afraid your mother has—”
The guys says, “No, that’s not my mother. That’s my mother-in-law.”
Doctor says, “Well, in that case, I have some good news.”
Why did the crab cross the road?
It didn’t. It used the sidewalk.
I once went out with a girl who had “yes yes” in her eyes…
… but no no’s on her face.
Two Chihuahuas meet on the street.
One says, “I think I’m having a nervous breakdown. The other says, Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” The first dog says, “I can’t I’m not allowed on the couch.”
A frog calls the Psychic Hotline.
Psychic tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says, That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?” Psychic says, “No, next term — in her biology class.”