SIGNS OF COCAINE DISCOVERED IN 17TH CENTURY EUROPEAN BRAINS
Rave tonight at Studio LIV.
THE WORLD GRAVY WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIPS
All aboard the gravy train.
ROBBER GETS SIDETRACKED BY A BOOK DURING BURGLARY
No, not “Where’s Waldo.”
INCREDIBLY LARGE DIAMOND DISCOVERED IN BOTSWANA
Second-largest diamond. Second only to Neil.
MAN HIT BY WHALE TAIL
The sea was angry that day, my friend.
NORTH KOREA OPEN FOR TOURISM
Book early!
AUDIO: NEW APP WARNS OF IMPENDING ELEPHANTS
Cloudy today, with a 20% chance of elephants.