SURVIVAL-TYPE REALITY SHOW CONTESTANT EATS PROTECTED BIRD
Obviously it wasn’t that well-protected.
AUSTRALIAN SURFER LOSES LEG TO SHARK, LEG WASHES UP ON SHORE
Not a boating accident. A surfing accident.
SOCCER FANS THROW FISH CAKES ONTO THE FIELD
Cod only knows why.
COCAINE SHARKS
Also cocaine mollusks. They’ll snap at your toes!
PARIS MAYOR GOES IN SEINE
And lives to tell.
AUSTRALIAN FOOTBALL GAME INTERRUPTED BY EMUS
As happens down there.