INDIA TO HOLD FLATULENCE CONTEST
Get a load of this.
CYCLIST KILLED BY MAGPIE
Murder by swoop.
GOLDEN TOILET STOLEN
Going, going, gone.
RIVER BOAT CRASHES INTO DOCK, WOMAN FALLS THROUGH DECK
Lands on another woman on the can.
PILOT SPILLED COFFEE ON THE CONTROL PANEL
a.k.a. The Pepsi Syndrome
KENTUCKY FRIED WEDDINGS
You may now lick the fingers of the bride.
COPS SHUT DOWN HIDE-AND-SEEK GAME AT IKEA
This is a thing in Europe.
MAN ATTEMPTS TO SNEAK INTO U.S. DISGUISED AS AN OLD MAN
Master of disguise fails.
MAN WITH PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY STEALS 1,300 CREDIT CARD NUMBERS
Quite the party trick.
SEAL ALERTS AUTHORITIES TO DRUG RUNNERS
Stool pinniped.