HORNY TORTOISE RETIRES FROM STUD FARM
Diego saved his species.
MAN FINED FOR FARTING
In the general direction of a policeman.
FORMER BRITISH MP COMPLAINS ABOUT SNAP, CRACKLE & POP: “THREE WHITE BOYS”
Please, keep my beloved Krispies out of this.
BURGLAR RETURNS TO SCENE OF CRIME TO LOOK HIS FOR KEYS
Alcohol was involved.
RESTAURANT OWNERS SENTENCED TO MASSIVE JAIL TERM FOR FRAUD
I’m sure those 723 years will just fly by.
ARCHAEOLOGISTS FIND OLDEST THEATER IN LONDON
Silence thy cell phone.
AUDIO: WORLD DIAMOND GLUT
Too many diamonds!
MAN SHOOTS HIMSELF WITH CROSSBOW
Cross(bow) my heart and hope to (not) die.