3-YEAR-OLD MISSING AUSTRALIAN BOY FOUND
It’s a Labor Day miracle.
KOSOVO MAN SWALLOWS CELL PHONE
What’s the area code for the esophagus?
QUEEN’S DEATH PLANS LEAKED
Or, when London Bridge falls down.
SNAKE BITES LITTLE GIRL ON FACE AT PETTING ZOO
Gee, it never did THAT before.
CHINESE KIDS LIMITED TO THREE HOURS OF GAMING PER WEEK
More time for homework!
SUSPECT JUMPS INTO LAKE, COPS GRAB CANOE, PEDALBOAT
Always prepared.
POLICE CHASE: NOW YOU CAN!
Grand Theft Stupid.
MAN BITES (POLICE) DOG
Bite out of crime, and all that.